Senior Citizens Party 2011

What a fine body of men, waiting to 'entertain' the senior citizens. Bit like taking coals to Newcastle - the elderly entertaining the slightly more elderly. In fact if it wasn't for the penguin suits I'm not sure we would be able to tell the difference.

A very good barber shop quartet, 'Special Blend' started us off followed by 'Voice Versa' who gave us some amusing and seasonal poems and stories. Worryingly, for the Lions male voice choir, both groups were very professional and slick and were appreciated by the audience.

Even more worryingly they were followed by Hayley Rice who sang beautifully. Apparently she made the final selection for the TV programme X-factor. No pressure then!!

As usual these events wouldn't work or be as smooth without the help of the ladies. The men just wouldn't be as organised or efficient besides which they had their minds focussed on their musical extravaganza.

Just too good a picture to leave out. Mike's finishing his cup of tea before turning round and doing his warm up act. Few people are aware that he is a member of the magic circle or is it the magic roundabout - I always get mixed up.

It has to be reported at this stage that the Lions performance didn't go quite as well as expected. Marion, on the piano, couldn't keep up with the pace set by the choir and at one point the song sounded more like a round with everybody singing different parts. It's a good job that most of the audience had turned down their hearing aids.

Fireworks & Halloween 2011

I feel that I have to be very careful with how I phrase things in this blog - I could get into deep trouble. The ladies made a great effort to get into the spirit of Halloween and looked suitably scary and 'witchy,' some even dressed up!Hubble, bubble, toil and trouble - a little coven hover over the burgers whilst grand wizard Robbo ensures they are burnt in a regular and consistent manner.

I'm not allowed to make any derogatory comments about these two young and attractive ladies who are doing such a fantastic job.

Two very jolly Lions, Martin and Roger who had the very responsible job of being in charge of mushy peas. Roger has been doing the same job for 10 years and he still can't stop them sticking to the bottom of the pan. The peas are more runny than mushy more like a 'jus' - does this makes Martin the 'saucerers apprentice'?

And finally Sheila and Gill who have a very healthy glow and a ring of confidence. These two are such good friends they have become broommates. Thankyou and goodnight!!!

This is what it's all about. A meal fit for Lady Lions. The men have toiled away for months, selecting a menu, buying the food, coordinating the cooking of all the different elements - how the ladies do it in half an hour 7 days a week, we have no idea.

The air is full of expectation. What will the men cook up? Will it be out on time? Will it still be hot? So much depends on how quickly they can open the cans and work out how to use the microwave.

The ladies cannot believe that their menfolk are actually making and serving such a delicious meal. But are we making a rod for our own backs? I think they are plotting how to make this a biannual event.

The backroom staff are vital to the smooth running of the operation. Brian and Tony, scrubbers with marigolds , as someone unkindly described them.

Barry and Ian showing intense concentration. I hope Margaret and Margaret are taking note - the lads can cook when they really want to.
' The Magnificent 7' ready to prepare a culinary delight for expectant lion's wives. 'Chefs' is probably too strong a word, 'snack technologists' possibly or could they be snow white's little helpers: Happy, Grumpy, Sneezy, Doc, Sleepy, Dopey and Bashful. Whether you feel that matches up, by pure accident, from left to right is entirely up to you.

Duck Race 2011

Is this the origin of the phrase 'like a duck out of water'? If ever there was an event misnamed it must be the 'Duck Race'! Ought to be 'Duck Float', 'Duck Dawdle', 'Duck Drift' or 'Duck Dribble'.
1,000 plastic ducks negotiating a route down a weed choked stream helped along by a swift smack with a canoe paddle. Could this be an olympic event? Sychronised ducking.

Try and sort a winner out of this lot. It must be a mass photo finish.

This should be an RSPCA matter. Mass culling of yellow ducks, caught in a crude net, thrust into black bin liners and locked into a backstreet garage for a whole year. The Lion president was questioned but he ducked the issue.

Bowling night at Southwell July '11

The object of the game,apparently, is to get the bowls near near to the jack. This distribution looks more like a star constellation. Is it the plough???









Almost an action picture, but actually
Tony's been stuck like that for 5 minutes a) trying to work out the bias and b) trying to fathom out how's he's going to get back up.

Ian and Tony pretending that they know what's going on.

CHARTER NIGHT 2011

This is what the night's all about, Past Pres. passing on the jacket to New Pres. although the pose could be open to interpretation. Excellent turn out though, 85 Lions, guests, friends and those from Rotary.

Thanks to Vernon for the photos, one of these days I'll remember my camera. Just a glimpse of the band in the background. They played the right tunes and very often the right notes, but they did create a good atmosphere and more people than usual stayed to the end of the evening.

Watch out, Learner about!! It's hard to be inconspicuous wearing that jacket. Riemie's lost her dancing partner but looks happy about it and I'll leave you to interpret Tony's hand gesture

'No Tony, it's not that big'.Tricia looks gobsmacked. Mike, standing behind, is getting closer to the truth even finding an ancient measuring tool.

He's only been president for 10 minutes and he's already lost it. Trying to imitate a cockerel or was it the 'funky chicken'?

Is anybody actually paying attention to the Previous Past Prior Preceding D.G.? He certainly regretted mentioning Sid L Scruggs III. He must think we're a proper Lions Club!!

Where do you start with this picture?!! Ian initially thought they were pan pipes but was he also trying to 'flag up' his main point. His speech was flagging. He'd spilt food down his shirt so he was using this array as a 'flag of convenience'.

At least Brian thought my speech was humorous. A great night though to finish off a very enjoyable year with thanks to all those who gave their help and support.

President's BBQ '11

This just about sums up everything you need to know about the English BBQing - blankets, fleeces and dotty old folks cuddling up.

They made fun of my 'chimney thing' but were grateful for the warmth later in the evening.

Where the real work is done. We tried to do our best but all we got were complaints, 'is it ready yet', 'where's my chop', 'my sausage is too small' etc.

What are they looking at? It's something which has caught the ladies imagination although the guys seem unmoved. Must be the shopping channel!!

The cultured corner - I spot a napkin and good quality wine.

'Where's the waiter, I need my glass topping up, I've only had 4 lagers'.

This must have been late in the evening, everyone's smiling and full of bonhomie although they are surrounded by a mini bottle bank.

Ros is clearly legless, it's a good job the table's there to hold her up.

Having suffered abuse for bringing the 'hot object', the group start to gather round it discussing the meaning of life.

A cosy pow wow round the camp fire to finish the night off.

An Eggcellent Day - April '11

The 'dream team' Tony, David, Graham and Mike were eggceptional on the day. The egg stall, in the market place proved to be very popular and raised an eggciting amount of money. Apologies for Graham's eggposed legs.

The stall plus the eggs raffled around Southwell's pub raised a superb £800 - this is not an eggaggeration.
Thanks to all the Lions who helped in the morning on the stall and collected from the pubs, an eggample of great teamwork.

Skittles evening at Bathley

A great night skittling at a pub in Bathley. Tony's looking completely confused - one ball in hand and looking for the other in his pocket. 'Which way do I throw it?'

The crowd can't contain their excitement. Four down and only five to go. Mal clearly hasn't read the Health and Safety manual - standing in the line of fire.

Tony's given up bowling and doing what he does best, working out how much tax we will all have to pay at the end of the evening.

Thanks to John and Tony for organising the event. Having worked off 1000's of calories bowling we retired to the pub for pie and chips excellent night.